the finest day i ever had was when tomorrow never came
most common thought: damn haha im going to have to deal with that sooner or later
This is your pilot speaking, sorry about the turbulence. These long flights are really boring so sometimes I try to fly with my feet.
when i erase a word with a pencil where does it go
are you okay
Tbh drunk me is just regular me but 2x as honest and 10x as horny
I love this.
You don’t need to bash skinny people to say that bigger people are beautiful.
You don’t need to bash men to promote women’s rights.
You don’t need to bash white people to promote racial equality.
You don’t need to bash a certain genre of music to promote another.
You don’t need to bash straight people to promote gay rights.You don’t need to bash anyone to advocate your opinion.
“I’ve been sneaking vegetables into your waffles for years now. Since way before we were married.”
“WHAT?!
I have literally never been angrier at anyone in my life.”
he’s cured